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Showing posts from 2018

Entry 5

My friend Kart and I are in a park, with many other people. We're watching her son who's playing with fellow boys his age. The park is surrounded by forest on each side. A few hours into the day, someone from the family of Kart's son's father shows up to check on him. He says he wants to take some pictures with the boy, and he does. Then I ask Kart to join them so I can take pictures of them all together. At first my phone camera is working but branches and other things are blocking my view, and I'm unable to capture their faces properly. So I change position and move at the edge of the park, next to the forest, to get a better angle. My phone camera seems to have a problem because every image now turns out to be an extreme closeup of an arm or a flower or something. I'm unable to frame a picture where the three of them are properly seen, even if they're actually making effort to pause in such great ways. Then suddenly I hear something moving moving next to…

Entry 4

We're going swimming with my family. I can't seem to find what to wear, but finally I realize I'm wearing a really cool two piece, so I throw on a random dress, satisfied with what's underneath. There's supposed to be some cute boys where we're going. We arrive at the area, and it's a lake or a pond or something like that. It's not a typical swimming pool. My siblings jump in but my Lil brother decides to fish. While he's fishing, he catches some snakes and throws them back in. To him, it's just other organisms living in the water. To me, it's the absolute nightmare. How can anyone go into this water? Don't they know they could get in contact with these snakes? A feeling of extreme fear washes over me. I can't swim! Not in this place! I stay with this numbing feeling for a while, then the place slowly dissolves out of memory. We're at a picnic. We're couples, some older and some a little young. My partner and I are one of the…

Dream journal; entry 3

Instead of grad school, I reenroll back in highschool. I'm adorned in full uniform, black shoes, white socks, skirt, shirt sweater and all. There's a disturbing feeling in my gut, that I'm not doing this for me, that I want to redo highschool to please people at home, so I can do a university program they approve of. I want to do it 'right's this time and even show up for graduation like all normal students. It's boarding school and I'm fully equipped with everything including a click of friends. We're ready to go for lunch, or is it dinner or something? I can't quite tell. We seem to have everything butbone; confidence. We follow other students to the lunch counter, and then we realize that students are stealing food which is meant for students with special needs. Should we stay in the queue and steal the food as well, or should we wait for the kitchen staff to serve us posho and beans?

Dream journal, entry 2; Half a Dream

Ugandan women, or rather, women of Ugandan origin living in the UK have been found after years of going missing. They each have two babies. Their captor was using them for procreation. I can't remember the rest.
Apparently there's dream filters? Another half dream, the next day; I woke up at around 4am after dreaming that I was hiding from someone or something and had been living in the back of a truck and later in the basement of a stranger.
I even dug a hole in the ground to jump into when visitors came.But everywhere seemed so risky and public transport was a nightmare because anybody could recognise me and I needed to not be recognized At one point someone offered to fly me out of the bush hideout in a mini boat plane which didn't look so safe. It was blue and looked like a kid's toy.
There were heavy emotions and lots of things at stake that I can't remember. I just know I was scared. And I was looking for help. And once in a while somebody helped, but once i…

Digital dream journal: entry one.

We're digging through dark brown soil, my friends and I. I can't recognize any of them. But it didn't seem to matter, I knew them, in the garden. It is a valley of sorts, and the bush has been cleared and burnt so that fresh grass is beginning to grow and a few trees still lie on the ground, half burnt. The topic is killers, especially rebel killers. We're somewhere far but someone knows a girl killer from my home country, and the girls are engaged in talking about her and her crimes. I don't remember her. I don't know her. I feel inadequate and not so well-read because I should know any rebel leaders from my country, especially female ones. That's the sort of thing that should interest me. I admit to my friends that I don't know this girl. Someone mentions that she killed most of her victims in 88, the year I was born. I'm a bit relieved, because somehow knowing I wasn't born or was just an infant means I can get away with not knowing about thi…

How I was treated like trash by Kenya airways staff for being a short black girl.

When my travel agent asked me to choose an airline to fly to England, I looked through the list they had sent me and chose Kenya Airways. It was East African, it was affordable, it was close to home. Little did I know that I would pay dearly for this. After my scheduled stay, I couldn't wait to return home. But Kenya Airways staff had other plans for me. The lady who checked my bags in said my backpack was too bulgy and asked me to lose a few things so it didn't look too big. Otherwise I'd have to pay for it as baggage. This was distressing because I had called the previous day and had been told that as long as my total dimensions added up, my backpack would not be a problem as carry-on luggage.
But I still had a lot of time so I went and got rid of a few things that were not very heavy but were large. It was painful, but I obliged. I just wanted to go home. The bag could not exceed 12kgs, and after removing a few things, my weight was now below 10kgs. I put it through th…

Freezing in York

Dear homeless guy in York,
How are you today? Has this
Bright but heatless sun shone on you
Or are you still sprawled by the street, in your
Green sleeping bag? In a city where people apologize for walking too close
And the little streets ferry countless feet
Including mine, heading off to
God knows where, who notices you? While the homeless guy in London
Sat by himself on the corner
As his colleagues lined up
For a free meal on the white van,
You stood out, in pretty York. While the homeless guy in Leeds sat with a hat before him
And whispered gently 'can you spare some change' even though few
Gave him attention,
You sat there wordlessly being. While tourists paid loads for petty souvenirs and buzzed around
The street you call home, while we
Were busy taking pictures and making videos, you sat
Quietly by the walls of the great minster,
Mocking us, ably pointing out
The ridiculousness of your government
Who don't value you. You questioned the discussions held at …

Them.

Forcefully and sometimes deceitfully
Consuming all life,
ripping all sprouting from earth. Consciously and mostly covertly
withholding air
Keeping all out, inhabitable.